You've never been the one to blame

You've never been the one to blame, that one to know that I'm at fault. But never take it out on me. If the two of us were both the same, I wouldn't know where I need to be.

You're the bigger picture I can't see. This one goes out to you. 

Solitude, at least that’s what I call it. Keeping those streets of gold on my mind. 

I don’t know why, as the years they pass me by it gets harder just to take my time.

No one to keep me from you. No one to stay my hand from seeking the truth. From reaching up for the only hope I ever knew. For every time I wasn't honest, kind, or true.

I used to think I was lucky, but I've realized now I'm just blessed that I found some sort of home in a heart even though I lived so long in selfishness. Because I've learned you know my heart more than you know my routine and most nights it’s all I need to be able to fall asleep. Because I've learned running away from home is like finding strength in weakness, but I always come back around knowing that I can't continue to live like this. So thank you for your honesty, I've found that love has gone from just being sobering to being so refreshing. And even if the pain doesn't go away, I just thank God you decided to stay. Because I know I have a purpose when you purposefully tell me you that see something in me, even when I can't see myself.

If this hasn't been waiting in vain, I could consider this monogamy. Living devoted and betrothed to the one who believed in me and wouldn't give up. If the clock looks like it ticks too slow, even when its given time to grow, I'll know for sure that it was my own impatience that I'd feel better if my ego was vacant.

In closing, I'd like to thank you for her, for every word she spoke to help me rest assured. That I'm not lonely, that I'm not falling away. For every time she reminds me of you and lives up to her name. 

Thank you for everything.
Thank you for having patience with me.
Thank you for reminding me that God is all that I will ever need.
Thank you for praying for me.
Thank you for giving me room to breathe.
Thank you for letting me see who I am and who I want to be.

Antonio Peralta